a juliet who works with woody allen

when i was younger, i liked to think about the possibility of doubles: that somewhere in the world there was someone exactly like me, living her life with the same looks and personality in a different set of circumstances. later i developed this into the thought that not only was there one alternate me, but dozens, one for every nationality and age group in the world. a brazilian juliet. an indian juliet. a juliet that is a very old lady. what were they all doing? and would i recognize them if i saw them?


juliet berto as celine in celine and julie go boating

these are the kind of thoughts that can transition very easily into diehard convictions, since they're good fun to talk about and there's no way to verify them one way or the other. also in this category is my "____ is someone's favorite ____" idea, which entails that no matter who or what you're thinking of or how obscure or awful they may seem, that thing or person is someone's favorite in the world. "my ding-a-ling" is someone's favorite song. bob balaban is someone's favorite actor. and so on and so forth. i believe these things are true with no actual proof, which i suppose is as close to religious faith as i've ever experienced. i've had people dispute me on these points, but i argue that such people are too hung up on a certain sort of accuracy, which is to say the sort of accuracy that takes the poetry out of opinion and the mystery out of life.


aspiring pop star juliet (richardson): ride the pain

i wonder if other juliets go by nicknames. i've had people ask me if i ever go by "julie," which strikes me as a funny sort of nickname, it being a whole other name in itself.